Soul Searching. Soul Found.

A repost from my old LJ blog, dated December 5, 2007. A way of re-inspiring myself.

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I would usually write about a fucked-up experience but tonight, I think I'll take this time to just be thankful for the way things are. Haha! Besides, it's too EXHAUSTING to see all the bad things around me, so I'ma pay attention naman to the good side of things diba??


Life is beautiful, man!


I've come up with a new personal mission statement!

I've been conscious of the fact that in life, we ALWAYS have a choice. It's just a question of values that determine our choices. That perception was buried for a while when I couldn't do the things I wanted because I kept blaming circumstance for not giving me the resources. But somehow, in reading Stephen Covey's book, I managed to live up to that belief again; that I always had, have, and will have the choice to do what I want, NO MATTER how much circumstances TRY to control me. I will do what I have to in order to be the best person I can be, even if it means altering my personality and my values, even my principles... a paradigm shift, a new way of looking at the world.

Somehow, I want to be a kid again, dreaming about my future profession and saying it with conviction. I remember I used to say, "I want to be a lawyer". And then it became "I want to be the President of this country and make it a better place!" I also said "I want to be scientist" or "I want to work in a forensic laboratory and make crime punishment more just". I had these dreams when I was young and there was nothing else I had to worry about. But I grew up and reality started to become clearer to me: I was growing up with detrimental limitations. My self-esteem went down the drain and so did my dreams. I had only my passion left (which also eventually faded): writing. I said I wanted to be a writer and change the world (the way playwrights, poets and other writers did with their inspirational one-liners), or at least a part of it.

I had these dreams. What happened to them?

If there is one thing I regret, it is letting limitations get the best of me.

But now, I see myself like an old and rusty machine working again, building up this momentum that when I start to go for what I want, I'll be unstoppable.

I will let my dreams take over my life again.

It isn't clear to me what profession I'll take on in the future. I want to be so many things, I know I will NEVER go for just one.

I do know what I want to be, though. I want to be unstoppable, making things happen..... the way I saw my future self when I was I kid.

And with that, I think it's time I go down from this tall tree I just climbed because I've reassessed my position and now I know where to go.

(...... i think. )