I'd rather

This. is. drama.
But I have to write it. ;)

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I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart

Years ago, I heard this Luther Vandross song and I thought it to be ultimately foolish. I hated it. Well, it was partly because I misunderstood it. Why on earth would you want to have bad times with someone? I guess back then it didn't occur to me how painful it is to part with someone you love, because I didn't have that person then. But now I do, and today, I got a good--or should I say, bad--glimpse of a life without him. The pain... is indescribable. I used to seek pain just to feel something extreme again, to make me fight (Oh god this is embarassingly EMO!). I find that a moronic thing to do now.

I don't know why but after all that's happened today, this song was the first thing that came to my mind. There is a beautiful truth in it, after all... that you are willing to bear anything--the hardships, the supposedly irreconcilable differences, the mistakes--because the pain in these is entirely, completely, to the nth degree incomparable to the pain of losing the one you love.

After all, and I quote from The Sorrows of Young Werther, "What meaning has the world for our souls without love? It is a magic lantern without its lamp." ;)

I love you, Javi. :)