On bookssss.... zzzzzzzz......

I was looking through my Photobucket and I found this:

That was my favorite avatar 4 years ago, back when I was a Junior in High School (or at least the summer after that). Oh, the vainglory of those days (when I still had the face and "figure" to flaunt, not that I'm bitter about it). I didn't make this one out of vanity, although it definitely looked like it. It was actually supposed to mock superficiality, but then again, it failed to get the message across. LOL.

*****

I'm currently reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. Sadly, this is definitely the end of my sembreak reading list. It's 1069 f-ing pages and I've only managed to read til page 101 for the past 2 weeks! haha. But it's fine. I'm finding it a good book so far. A bit heavy, especially if it's been preceded by 2 young adult books which are very light, but it's absolutely worth it so I'm taking my time to read it. Oh, I got the book from a booksale and I failed to notice that the previous owner was building his/her vocabulary and underlined the words he/she probably couldn't understand. Really, a LOT of UGLY pen marks on the book. OH WELL. I didn't pay much for it anyway. haha.

Am I boring you with my book talk? haha. But that pretty much dominates my life when I'm idle, meaning, when there's no workload to keep me busy. Of course, that, aside from binge-eating, drinking, and going out with Javi/friends/family, watching movies/tv series, etc. I've been such a pig. I still am. :|

Speaking of books dominating my idle time, it's funny the way I can't answer when people ask what kind of books I read. Probably because the kind of book one reads somehow defines that person. But I am someone who refuses to be defined that way. My preferences change from time to time. There are a few genres I don't get really into though. I haven't tried reading Chick Lit (except for Gossip Girl which I tried to read because of the TV series. The series, I like, but the book... unbearable. And Twilight, if some people consider that Chick Lit). I also haven't tried reading horror (except for Stephen King's Duma Key which was an audiobook and I barely even finished the first chapter). The closest I've read for sci-fi was Dan Brown's Deception Point. I think.

I'm unfortunately guilty of judging a book by it's cover--or title. I bought the book Being simply because I was so enthralled by the title and the cover was nice, but I wanted to put the book on fire when I finished it. It was SO bad. LOL. I also refused to read Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner because I didn't like kites and I'm very picky when reading books from another culture, but I ended up crying twice when I read it. It was beautiful. So yeah, I should work on looking past the cover/title and read online reviews and ratings first. haha. But then again, you can't really know for sure until you've really read the book.

If I were part of the Heroes series, I'd be contented with the ability to read really fast. Or to just put my hand over the book and know EVERY single word in it. So many books, so little time to read. *sigh* Me and my boring aspirations.

Come to think of it, I haven't really read much. I'm a frustrated reader. I'm a frustrated everything. Dancer, actress, athlete, musician, writer. EVERYTHING. Poor me. LOL.

Writer's block

I haven't written in a week, even more. Ugh.

Anyway, we had our AISM Evaluation-Formation Seminar in Tagaytay last Oct. 27-28. We even sort of celebrated Javi's 21st birthday which was on the 28th, so we did a surprise at midnight.

:D

Okay, that's it. I'm still absolutely wordless right now.

Religion of Perfection [repost]

I am diminished by the second
as I stand here surrounded by
pages of the magazines,
cut out body parts
stuck together by sticky tape
onto the head of a figure that is
imperfection personified.

And as the pressure builds
the surface turns into something
shiny, pretty, startlingly merging
into a picture of odd proportions
but it is never enough,
not even remotely close
to that which is ideal
and as the puzzle
starts to be complete
the pieces contort into monsters
grinning, with claws ready
to tear, scratch, masticate
the excesses, trimming the
edges until it is perfect.

I cannot help but feel
stuffed like a doll
plucked and stitched
emptied of all its contents
and as I sit here utterly deflated
and beyond reason
I rationalize this ludicrous
worshipping of mainstream idealism
bobbing my head to the tune of
ingenious advertising.

But sometime between being
less than perfect and mediocre
I stop cutting and pasting
and look at my masterpiece of
glossy paper and sticky tape
disgust fills me, bile mixes with saliva
and I begin to see this
thing of beauty for what it really is
a make shift paper doll
a ghost haunting modern
high-definition bibles
fading gracefully from the covers
and it hits me hard, that I would
rather cast myself to the bowels of hell
with the rest of the blasphemers and
heretics brandishing their pitchforks
to these 'saints and martyrs' than
sit here and do nothing as I am slowly
reduced to this so called perfection.




-- a beautiful, BEAUTIFUL poem by my dear friend Riva. Sorry, I just HAD to share it. I miss you, girl!

What will your verse be? [repost]

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

-- Mr. Keating, Dead Poets Society

New blog. Again.

Okay, no more introductions since this is probably my 100th blog and I'm not very certain how long this will last. Nevertheless, I'm here... back to Blogspot where I came from. LOL. So there. Let's get this thing goin'! :)

BTW, here is the link to my previous blog which I think I'll still update. I think.

My Livejournal